"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
