I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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