She is in my trunk
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
