i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
