someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
