yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
