I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
