worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
