Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
