Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
