the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i came on her dog
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
