Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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