Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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