got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
