Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
