Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize