drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
