The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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