It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
