I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
