That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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