I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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