Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
