oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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