after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
