and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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