I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize