If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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