someone get that fucking seahorse.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
