i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize