plz talk dirty to me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize