I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I believe in your delicious
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
