Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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