i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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