You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
