People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
