I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
