HIV tests are more positive than that guy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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