Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
