Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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