just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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