You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
