is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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