They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
