First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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