would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
