Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
