i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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