Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
