YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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