i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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