You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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