I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
