I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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