so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize